Put Your Head On My Shoulder

I happen to sit-on on quite a few committees and I had the opportunity to listen to our faculty talk about classroom management. At first, it went on with general tips on how to manage students with behavioral issues. The dean, A Pompous Ass, explained his method of allowing three strikes for students and the benefits of taking the student aside and speaking to them one-on-one.

Pompous Ass explains that once you get a student alone, they’re a different kid entirely. After a few picture-perfect examples that faculty members shared with the rest of us, it seemed that this technique was a good idea.

Finally, after all the positive feedback, some faculty members decided to speak up about their problem students. One instructor asks, “What do you do with students that do annoying stuff?” So Pompous Ass asks for some examples to clarify. So the instructor said this student asks, “How do you handle a student that says “Miss, are you going to bake me some cookies? Miss, can I put my head in your lap?”

After this was stated, everyone was appalled. How can anyone let this behavior happen in their classroom? Pompous Ass says “I still think my method will work, get the student alone, close the door, and talk one-on-one. The rest of us are looking at him like he’s grown another head. Close the door with a potential sexual predator? Obviously Pompous Ass is thinking with his ass.

Nevertheless, this makes me feel better for all the classes I’ve had to lecture in and that I survived unharmed. It also makes me wonder how we have any faculty remaining.

- Hen 1