Shelter for the Chicks

If you want a job in the library, you're hired! We're looking for a ridiculous amount of student workers to sit around all day, surf the web, eat chips, and chat with friends. In fact, the only requirement we have is that you have a pulse. If this sounds like you, then step right up! You're hired!

This semester, we have a surplus of student workers due to a series of misfortunate events. I dare not rehash them, as I pity anyone who as to listen. But....if you recall, we had Library Stalker making a muck of things and we were worried for the safety of our little chicks. That's passed and now we're stuck with a whole flock.

Here are a few incentives to get some of them to fly off:

1) Cut-back in hours
2) Offering other glamorous positions throughout the college
3) Forced seating assignments
4) Actually having to work!!

Does anyone have any other suggestions? They would be most welcome.

- Hen 1