Cell Phone Blues

What I really wanted for Christmas this year, was not in my stocking. In case you can't see where this post is headed, I'll spell it out for you. S-i-l-e-n-c-e. Ahh, the beauty of that word. For the life of me, can someone tell me why cell phone jammers are illegal in the United States?!! Just think of the possibilities a cell-free library can do.

I do not follow the doctrine that libraries should be so quiet that you can hear a pin drop. I believe in being able to talk, quietly, to another person. Hell, I even don't mind cell phones being on if they ring silently and the patron talks outside. Despite my leniency, I find that nearly all the students have some obnoxious and LOUD rap song as their ring tone. It usually goes something like this: "Yo Yo Bitch, Get outta my @#&% face!"

Sometimes I swear the students are experienced at administering "Chinese water torture," AKA the cell phone chirp. This phenomenon occurs when the cell user has a voicemail and hasn't listened to it yet. The phone chirps about every 45 seconds, enough to drive the Dalai Lama crazy. The kicker is you can't tell where it's coming from. You swear you heard it over here, but it sounds like it's coming from there!

Oh why me? Why anybody?!

- Hen 1