Break

The students have taken their last final and the library books have all been returned (yeah right). Finally, the librarians have some peace and quiet for a brief interlude.

A library informant told us yesterday that there is a rumor that the librarians are not to be messed with. Students know that when they come to the library, no crap will be tolerated. It’s as if there is a sign that says: “No Fun Allowed.” When we heard this, we all laughed with glee! We broke the students’ spirit!

To be perfectly honest, I don’t give a damn if students play games online, chat, or check the most recent headlines. I only care that the place not be a wild zoo with cell phones ringing, people sitting on tables, or having loud raucous conversations.

Oddly enough I get this power trip, which is really out of character for me. When I hear students being loud, I’ll simply walk over and start straightening chairs or something like that. They shut right up. Amazing. I also recommend making eye contact with them. If they keep talking, just stare them down. You would think it wouldn’t faze them, but once that reputation is established, you just work it!

- Hen 1

Painting

If I had my way, the library would be a nice soft peach hue. It would relax the students, I could look at a nice color and it would match my bedroom sheets.

The way things are done around here; one doesn’t expect much planning or thought to go into an event such as this. Originally, moving the shelving from the walls didn’t seem like such a big deal. But let’s consider the books on the shelves; they make everything much heavier and harder to move.

Today, two days from painting day, our facilities manager realizes there’s no way to move the shelving, unless you get a forklift. The solution: paint around the shelving…hopefully no one will notice the line where the old paint and new paint starts.

We’re going to half a half-assed paint job. Not only that, but we’re expecting new furniture within the next week and we’re going to rearrange the furniture anyway. Facilities solution: they’ll touch it up when the new furniture gets in. My solution: fire the facilities manager and get someone who knows how to plan.

Did I mention the elevator is also out of service? Apparently the local governing body that inspects for elevator safety shut us down. That’s right folks; they shut down our elevator because it WAS NOT safe. I’ve been riding up and down in the rickety thing with AV equipment and at any moment I could have plummeted to my death and be pinned underneath a huge TV and cart. I think OSHA would be very interested to hear about my working conditions…

- Hen 2

Missing Pen

I was sitting in the office today and a student knocked on the door. He looked a bit lost when he asked: “Have you seen my pen? I left it by one of the computers last week.” I said, “Its not likely if you left it over a week ago; was it expensive?” “No” he said, “It was white and I just liked using it.”

Again, to clarify I was hearing properly, I asked: “Was it expensive or worth something?” He said “no” and said “that’s okay; I just liked that pen and wanted to see if you had it.” So he walked away and that was it.

Um, okay. Here I was thinking that an expensive Mont Blanc pen was possibly stolen or still in the library. Nope, this probably was a plain ole Bic pen with a fine point.

- Hen 1

Undeserving

Why does everyone feel they are special? Why should I make exception to rules just for them? Why should I accommodate someone? Unless I’m mistaken, I was under the impression that academia meant red tape. The more red tape and the more hoops to jump through, the better you were doing your job.

Now I’m not talking about providing reference assistance to students or anything library related here. I believe I should jump through hoops for people who want to use the library for research and use librarians as resources. Bring it on!

What I’m talking about is my glorified photography stint as ID Card-Picture taker. First of all, we have signs posted, e-mails have been sent and I’ve spoken to tons of people about the dates and times for taking IDs. We aren’t a big operation here so taking pictures at anyone’s whim is not top priority.

So why do so many Joe Schmo professors come in wanting their ID’s taken when it’s not the scheduled time? I mean we’re talking about 1.5 hours earlier than the scheduled time. Even as I explain we have make-up dates for photos they insist they won’t be here or they need to do it now. What pissed me off was that the most recent beauty, Returning Prof, had to mention that he had a meeting with the top administrator now and needed his picture taken. Since he used his trump card, I had no choice but to do their photo, lest administration hear he was refused.

I despise people who feel it necessary to name drop, threaten, or use other slimy tactics to get what they want. GRRRRrrrrrr.

- Hen 3

Beauty School

I understand that sometimes the library isn’t the most exciting place for a student worker. But it is inexcusable to polish one’s nails while sitting at any service desk. Rooster walked in the other day and said, “I think Flirty Chick is polishing her nails.” I go to investigate and sure enough there was a bottle of polish sitting on the desk.

After I told Flirty Chick that this behavior was unacceptable, she said, “okay I won’t do it.” Since she has an attitude problem, I took a peek back and saw her complaining to some of her worker buddies. Complain all you want BITCH. Let’s consider the following: If we don’t allow students to polish their nails in the library, what makes you think its okay to polish yours?

Answers to last Post

Since no one bothered to respond to the last posting and play our little game, I am not revealing the answer to the mystery vendor. Quick recap: Southern vendor that has a sexy British woman while you wait for customer service. Last chance to answer!

- Hen 3

Faux Accent

There’s a library vendor located in the South that has a very unusual welcome message when you call. You would expect a nice southern drawl like, “Y’all pick out some nice library supplies here.” Instead, a very sultry British woman says “Thank you for calling _______, if you want customer service…” I almost expect the woman to say, “For sexual fantasies, press one... “

Can you guess which vendor this is? Answers will be revealed at the next post.

- Hen 4

Keeping busy

The key to happiness at any job is being busy and being caught up in your work. Yesterday I was in the foulest of moods because I had absolutely nothing to do. Sure I answered stupid questions at the reference desk and grunted, “No stapler, use paper clips,” but I didn’t use my brain once. These are the times when boredom is your undoing.

So I lost my sanity yesterday and consistently growled at Rooster who is probably seeking my replacement as I post this. I would imagine grunting that “I hate this job,” is not good for one’s job security.

Nevertheless I’m having a good day today since I actually helped some people today and I received a request to lecture to a class. Presenting to a class always interests me, especially when it’s a topic I have to research first. In this case I’m searching the Census and getting into marketing and finding demographics. Who would have thought a little research could cheer me up so much?

As much as I enjoy goofing off at times, I really would like to do something meaningful and not just surf the Web. There are only so many library blogs and New York Times articles to read. I suppose you could rationalize that I am very well informed which is a necessary part of my job. Yeah --If you believe that one, I can tell you another.

- Hen 3